What exactly IS public speaking? We know that's what Toastmasters is there to help you with, but what's the difference between public speaking and just talking? We can already do that around family and friends. Let me give you some examples of public speaking:
1. Conducting a meeting in front of five people you only know through work.
2. A job interview.
3. Selling your boss on a new idea or a raise.
4. Going on a blind date.
5. Fund raising phone calls.
6. Teaching a class.
7. Giving a speech to an audience of 30 - 500 people.
Once upon a time, I couldn't do any of these things without getting stressed out. At the very least I would lose my train of thought in the middle of a sentence. At the worst my throat would close up. I remember going to a retreat in 1988, and people were taking turns going up to the podium in front of the room of about 100 people and saying something into the microphone about the topic. I had something to say, but once I got up there my throat closed and I sounded like I was trying not to cry (which was true). When I first started going to contests in Toastmasters in 1999, the throat closing continued to happen. (I actually won because my competition went overtime!) It took me a while to get over the nervousness that was causing this. I heard it described one time as follows by my first Toastmasters mentor: "You still have the butterflies in your stomach, but you get them to fly in formation."
Almost everybody has fear of public speaking. I heard an interview of James Earl Jones on NPR once and he talked about how he was a stammerer. Of course, once he learned his lines and rehearsed them for a performance, he had that beautiful delivery and you would never know he stammered. Stammering is like mental stuttering, and of course nervousness makes it worse. I finally had a word for my problem with drawing a blank. I also noticed President Bush had the same problem. Basically, you just get stuck on a word. Lots of pauses. One of the worst examples was when I went to a party in 1983 with my then boyfriend of a year, Stuart. When I went to introduce him, I couldn't remember his name. Solution, avoid introductions at all costs.
I could talk around friends with no problem. But put me in a situation where I was asked a question by a company big wig and I sounded really dumb. Some people have white coat syndrome (fear of doctors), I had dark suit and tie syndrome (fear of corporate big shots.) I think I stayed put at one of my prior companies far longer than I should have just because I hated interviewing and did it so poorly. When I left in 2005, I got a $27,000 increase in income. Lesson: The inability to sell yourself is downright expensive.
But what I know now is I'm far from being alone in my fear of speaking publicly. Thirty percent of people fear dying. Seventy-five percent of people fear public speaking. You might conclude that most people would rather die that speak publicly. They hate it so much that they will not do what is required to overcome it, even in a safe nurturing environment: Toastmasters. Even if it's costing them $27,000 dollars per year.
I originally went to Toastmasters in 1998 and started improving immediately. I was in an extremely small club (Oration Plus Toastmasters in Las Colinas, Irving, TX) so I had a lot of opportunity to speak. Within about three months they talked me into being the president (huh??) and with no idea of what I was committing to, I said yes. Fortunately, I had a lot of people keeping me and the club afloat. Then I went to another club which was all about getting better at English or Spanish (Fiesta Bilingual in Dallas), whichever one was your second language. I did about ten speeches in Spanish (which I learned in high school and college). Talk about a great avenue to work on a new language! With each speech, the fear of public speaking diminished. I had a ball and acted at VP of Education for a year.
After a ten year break, I joined Eagles Toastmasters in 2008 and said yes to being the next president about three months later. Being an officer in Toastmasters gives you some experience on leading people. If you are the type of person (as was I) that would rather be water-boarded than call people and ask them to volunteer, this might break you of that fear. In an officer's role, you simply cannot operate without delegating and persistently asking for helpers. I got over my hangup about "bothering people." I now know if I don't pass out the duties, I'm depriving other people of the chance to grow. Toastmasters is just as much a lab for managerial skills as it is for developing ones gift of gab. Here's the website: http://www.eaglestm.org/ They meet Fridays at 6:45 a.m. at Central and Meadow, Dallas at Denny's. This was super convenient for me because I could get in my meeting and never interrupt any other activities (hobbies) or work.
Toastmasters meetings follow all follow pretty much the same format:
(1) Three speakers give a speech
(2) Table topics: Five or so people are called at random to talk for at least 60 seconds on different questions on a similar theme.
(3) Evaluations of the speakers (very supportive and loving).
After each of these segments, the group votes on the best speaker, best Table topic, and best evaluator. Most of the meeting participants either have a speaking role or some kind of duty such as time keeper, Toastmaster, vote counter, etc. Basically it's a form of structured play with a lot of laughter.
Eagles Toastmasters has the basic ingredients to make it an above average club:
1. Fun people
2. Good speakers to learn from
3. Lots of leadership opportunities
4. Seasoned members who know the proper way to run a meeting
If you are looking for a way to develop your leadership skills, conduct a meeting, interview, and basically just sell yourself and your ideas, this is where you can learn all that for less than $50 for six months, which your company may very well pay for (gladly). Wherever you are in your speaking ability you can get better and better with a nurturing Toastmasters club.
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